


The Ripple Effect

by jairyn



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anisoka, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Star Wars - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-22 09:59:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16595711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jairyn/pseuds/jairyn
Summary: As a padawan, Anakin Skywalker has an unexpected encounter with the future version of his soon to be padawan, Ahsoka Tano. The dream sticks with him and he starts making choices to track her down. But the experience is far from over when he is plagued by changing versions of her, as every choice he makes ripples through the galaxy. One night, she's gone completely, and he sets off on a desperate quest to bring her back and make sure her younger self lives to see that time.





	1. Chapter 1

            "Anakin!" He looked up to see a pretty Togruta girl coming towards him. She was dressed in gray with a white cloak. Her skin was orange, but her head tails and horns were mostly white with jagged blue stripes. He'd never seen this woman before, but she'd known his name. She stopped in front of him, her eyes were a vivid blue, deeper than any ocean he'd ever been in. There was an age to them though, like they'd seen far too much; perhaps she was an old soul of some kind. Their depth reminded him of his mother and he felt a twinge of pain. He missed his mom, so much. Why wouldn't Obi wan let him go back to Tatooine? He'd done everything his master had asked and so much more. 

            "Who are you?" he asked when she set her hands on his shoulder. Her touch sent a ripple of electricity through him, he'd nearly jumped at the way it felt. He saw her lip tremble briefly, but she blinked away whatever thought had crossed her mind.

            "You'll know me soon enough, but you must listen to me. I've come from the future to tell you two things," the woman breathed the words and he felt the hairs stand up on his neck. Not because he was afraid of her, but because the power and light that surrounded her radiated like she was a heat source. Whoever she was, she was powerful. "First, you mustn't listen to the Chancellor. He's a Sith Lord and he wants to enslave you and use your power for his own evil plans and secondly," she brushed her long fingers down his cheek and he shivered. "No matter what happens, never forget that I love you. I will _always_ love you."

            He sat up in bed and stared around him at his modest room at the Jedi temple. Who was that he'd been dreaming about? Was it just a dream? Or was it more than that? He glanced at his chronometer still hooked to his wrist; two am. He'd have to ask master Kenobi about it in the morning. She'd said the chancellor was a Sith Lord. Surely the Jedi would have sensed that if it were true. Surely,  _he_  would have sensed it. His cheeks got warm as he thought about the other thing she'd told him. 

            He brushed his padawan braid behind his shoulder and took a deep breath. He dove under his bed for his sketchbook and pulled it free, flipping it open to stare at all his drawings of Padmé. The woman he'd been dreaming about was just as pretty, but how did she enter into the picture? Ever since he was a little boy on Tatooine, he'd hoped constantly that the next time he saw the queen of Naboo, that maybe... well, maybe she'd see him more grown up now. Maybe they could get together. Jedi didn't allow attachments but dreaming about her made it easier to survive the hard work and loneliness that was his life now. 

            He unclipped the pencil, flipped to a blank page and did his best to draw the Togruta woman he'd just dreamt about. The sketch took up most of the page because no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get her eyes right and he kept practicing off to the side. The way she'd looked at him, the way her touch sent shivers through his body... no drawing could ever do that justice.  _No matter what happens, never forget that I love you. I will always love you._

            He scribbled her words on the page after hours of hard work trying to capture the image he'd seen in his dreams. He'd once thought Padmé was an angel, but this one felt more like that. He put his sketchbook down and checked the time again; five-thirty. He should try and get a little more sleep. Master Kenobi would be along in about an hour. 

            After telling his master, and then the council about the dream, except for the part where she'd told him she loved him, they dismissed him. He wandered the halls aimlessly, unable to get the image of that woman out of his head. He'd described her as best he could to the council, but as far as he could tell, none of them had appeared to know her or know who she could be. Maybe she came from a future they're not a part of?

            He stopped walking and retraced his steps to stand in the doorway of a training classroom. Master Syo turned to look at him, "Young Skywalker, how may I assist you today?" Across the room, a young girl, a few years younger than himself, tipped the modified training helmet up to peer at him. His breath caught in his throat. She didn't look like the woman in his dreams, _exactly_... but her coloring was right, and so were the markings on her face. Well at least, they were pretty similar. Too similar to be coincidental, in his opinion. 

            "Who is that?" he pointed at her. Her eyes widened, and she looked down at her feet. He noticed her montral stripes brightened and she was trying to hide that she was still looking at him. 

            "Why that is miss Tano. Ahsoka Tano," Master Syo replied. "Top of her class. Why do you ask?"

            "Uh, no reason..." he trailed off. "I just saw her moves and thought she was good." He shrugged his shoulders trying to sound as uninterested as possible. Except that he  _was_  interested, _very_... he'd never cared about the younglings before. Too many of the kids his age had teased him, and the younger kids would fall silent whenever he walked by; watching him with judgmental stares and whispers behind his back. The older kids would taunt and tease him, mocking him for having been a slave, or worse, believing he wasn't the chosen one. He hated that title, it was a burden and it seemed to ostracize him from everyone. 

            "Well that is high praise indeed, coming from you, my boy," the instructor said. "Perhaps you'll stay and show the younglings a thing or two with your lightsaber?"

            He glanced around at the rest of the kids and his lips curled a little in disgust. Not exactly what he'd had in mind, but he  _had_ interrupted their class, so he owed it to them. "I suppose I could do that." They all turned to their friends in excited whispers, but he met eye contact with the girl again.  _Ahsoka Tano_. If she was the woman he'd dreamt about, she would become something incredible and he wanted to be there to see it. 

            He made his way across the room and stopped right in front of her. She shifted nervously, looking everywhere but directly at him. Her eyes were wide, and the same vivid blue he'd seen in his dream. They weren't yet as deep, but she was still young. He bowed to her and drew his lightsaber, and she went to bow, but the training helmet fell off her head. She leapt back in surprise and stared up at him embarrassed. The other kids laughed, and he saw her shoulders slump. He swallowed the anger that rose in his throat. If only they knew what she'd become. He waved his hand in front of him, sending the helmet across the room at the kid that had laughed the loudest. He yelped in surprise, dropping his lightsaber to catch it. 

            "The first rule of combat is to be vigilant," he murmured, turning to face the other kids. "An enemy will use whatever tricks they can to catch us off guard. On the battlefield, that helmet could have been a grenade, a tank shell, a rock, or something far worse." He raised his lightsaber again and swung back towards Ahsoka. To his surprise, she had hers up and ready to block his strike. "See how Miss Tano here was paying attention to her surroundings?" He smiled reassuringly at her and she looked momentarily grateful. He pulled back to swing three more times and she matched each strike. He watched the way her eyes narrowed and snapped to his movements. "The second rule is awareness. See how she watches my movements, anticipating where I'm going to swing based on the flick of my wrist or the way I turn my body. Learning to read those clues will give you an advantage over your foes." He spun around, feinting to the right, and brought it back up from a low sweeping strike. She flipped backwards, rolled to the side and forced him to bend over to miss her slash where his head had been. "Third rule is opportunity. Notice how she managed to block  _and_  get in an offensive strike? Defending yourself is the most important, but if you can also strike without opening yourself up, you will catch them off guard and have a better chance winning or escaping." 

            "Well done, indeed," Master Syo cut in. "Young Skywalker is right. Now pair up and practice those three rules." None of the other younglings came over to partner with Ahsoka, and based on the way she dropped her gaze, he was certain she could hear their snooty whispers. He'd hoped that by showing off her skills, it would make her fellow students respect her more. It would seem though, all he'd done was single her out. Ostracized, like himself.

            He leaned forward to whisper only to her, "Meet me outside the council chambers at midnight." She looked up at him in surprise, and then nodded slowly. 

            "Anakin, there you are." Master Kenobi stood in the doorway when he turned around. 

            "Sorry, master. I was just helping Master Syo."

            "A fine lesson he taught today. You should be proud of your padawan," the teacher came up beside him and patted him on the back. 

            Obi wan looked momentarily startled, but then crossed his arms in front of him. "Of course I am. He has much wisdom to impart to the next generation. Regrettably, I must steal him away now, however." Anakin glanced back at Ahsoka, but she'd moved away. He still got the impression she was watching him with her peripheral vision. He hoped she'd meet him tonight. He also hoped that she didn't resent him for the attention. 

 

\---

 

            Anakin paced the hallway outside the council chambers trying to listen for anyone coming. He checked his chronometer for at least the tenth time wondering if he should just give up and head back to his room.

            She sprinted around the corner at twelve-thirty and he was about to give her a hard time but heard footsteps behind her. He grabbed her arm and pulled her into a nearby alcove, behind one of the giant statues that lined the hallway. She was breathing heavy as though she’d ran the entire way like she was being chased. She was small, so it probably took her twice as many steps as anyone else to get there, he could see why she’d be tired. Her eyes were huge and wild, and he realized she’d probably never before done something she could get in trouble for. He smiled at her and threw his oversized robe around her, so she’d be hidden from view if someone looked in the alcove. He didn’t want her to get in trouble for his own need to get to know her. 

            She huddled under his robe until the footsteps receded and they stood up, peeking around the statue. It wasn’t that people couldn’t wander the hallways at night, but he didn’t want anyone questioning why they were together. What would he say if they did?  _I’m pretty sure I dreamt about her future self, telling me she loved me and so I wanted to get to know her better._  Yeah, that would go over well. 

            “Are you a good climber?” he whispered finally. 

            “Yes, why?” she squeaked in surprise. 

            “Because we’re going up there.” He pointed at the grate to the ventilation shaft above them. 

            She tipped her head back to follow where he pointed. “Up there? What’s up there?”

            “You’ll see,” he smirked. He waved his hand to unhook the grate and used the force to leap up into the vertical duct. He shimmied up a few feet, braced himself and then glanced down at her still standing twenty feet below. “Well, come on.” She looked over her shoulder and then leapt up into the shaft too. “Close the grate behind you. I hope you’re not scared of heights.”

            “I’m not,” she said indignantly and waved her hand to latch the grate back into its original position. He smiled to himself. He had a hunch that even if she were scared, she’d never admit it. You don’t get to be the top in your class without being at least a little competitive, and despite her timid act before, he could sense a spark in her. The more time he spent near her, the more certain he was that this was the woman he’d dreamt about. They were kindred spirits. 

            They climbed the shaft in silence. When he got to the top, he moved the grate, and then helped her out onto the ledge. “Wow…” she breathed when she caught sight of the view from the roof of the Jedi temple. 360 degrees of city lights, and the entire world bustling around them. It was a far cry from the boring deserts of Tatooine, but it was a freeing experience to stand in the middle of so much activity. Until tonight, this was  _his_  spot. Well, as far as he knew he was the only one that ever came up here. Sharing it with a youngling was the last thing he wanted to do, but Ahsoka was different. Not just because of the dream, but he could tell there was something special about her; something he really liked. Maybe it was that she was the first person in the temple he’d met that didn’t seem to judge him. 

            Surely she’d heard all the same rumors as the others, but if she had preconceived notions or expectations of who he should be, she hid them well. If she was a loner like himself, then maybe she didn’t whisper about him with friends behind his back. It was a refreshing change. 

            He glanced down and watched the way the city lights reflected in her eyes and he suddenly wished he could see the world through them; so wide and full of wonder. Maybe even an innocence that he’d long ago lost. She turned to see him watching her and she smiled sheepishly and looked away, the blue stripes brightened again. That must be how she blushed. He liked it, it was cute. He sat back against the rim that was just tall enough to lean on, draping his legs over the edge, and felt the way the air blew around him. She sat down too, she was small enough that she could cross her legs in front of her.

            He felt her reach out her senses and he shook his head. “No prying,” he teased. “Just ask.”

            She opened her eyes and looked at him, biting her bottom lip. “I’m just wondering why, er, why you invited  _me_  up here?”

            He looked down at his hands. It wasn’t like he could tell her why he was suddenly so interested in her.  _No matter what happens, never forget I love you. I will always love you._  Her voice felt like a haunting whisper now. He didn’t know if it was the words that haunted him or how she’d said it.  _No matter what happens…_  What happened that had made her say that? What had she been through that would make her believe saying that might change something important? Did it mean she loved him now? If the girl in front of him was really the same person, did she already love him? “I wanted to apologize for earlier,” he mumbled vaguely. “I didn’t mean to single you out in your class. I know what it’s like to be made fun of.”

            “But you’re the…”

            “Chosen one, yeah I know. Or so people keep telling me.” He waved his hand in front of him absentmindedly.

            “You don’t think you are?” she scooted a little closer, studying him.

            “I don’t know, but the younglings all whisper behind my back and the older kids all seem to think that I should be able to perform for them on demand. I feel like a carnival act just walking down the hallway. No matter what they're doing, people will just stop and stare at me as though I'm an exhibit at the zoo. The masters put so much pressure on me, like I’m supposed to live up to something and they won’t even tell me what it is I’m supposed to live up to.”

            “So that’s why you spend so much time alone…” she whispered thoughtfully and then hid her face in embarrassment. So, she  _had_  been watching him for awhile. Maybe she already did love him? Unless he was as much a spectacle to her as he was to everyone else.

            “Yeah, that’s why,” he exhaled in a deep sigh.

            “I can’t speak for all the younglings, but I think they’re curious. No one really knows what the Chosen One is, so we’re looking to you to find out what it means. I mean, by title alone, it  _must_  be important.” She played with her hands. “So, you know, they study you and then discuss it with their friends. Maybe something you did today was something only the Chosen One could have done.” 

            “Well, I don’t like it.”

            “I’m sorry,” she murmured and looked away as though the opposite direction held the most interesting view in the world to her. He hadn’t meant to make her feel bad even if she was one of the people that did that too.

            Silence fell between them for awhile, since neither knew quite how to recover the conversation. “So how come you get teased?” he asked finally. “Why don’t the other younglings seem to like you?”  
            “I work hard, so they call me the teacher’s pet. I guess they don’t like it when I make them look bad. I’m not trying to show anyone up, I just want to do well!”

            “Admit it, you like being better than them,” he joked.  
            “I don’t  _need_  to be better than them, but it is fun to win sometimes,” she confessed, a quick glimmer of mischief in her beautiful blue eyes. It faded quickly, and she played with her hands again. “But that’s not the Jedi way.”

            “Do you ever think about who you’ll be in the future?” he asked curiously.

            “Well, someday I’m going to be a knight and maybe a master. I might even sit on the council!” she exclaimed, and he smiled at her enthusiasm.   
            “Of course, that’s every youngling’s dream; drilled into us before we can think for ourselves. How do you see yourself if you took the Jedi ranks away?”  
            “Um…” she screwed up her face in concentration and he expected her to say she’d never really thought about it. That’s what most said anyways. Sometimes it felt like he was the only one that ever wondered who they’d be without the Jedi order. “I want to be a leader,” she said after a few minutes. “I want to be strong and brave. Someone people look up to and can count on.”

            He almost reached out to touch her face and had to check himself. If the woman in his dreams was more than a dream… then she’d achieved all those things and probably so much more, but he couldn’t tell her that. “Do you ever think that maybe the Jedi have it wrong?” he breathed.  
            “I, er… I don’t know. Wrong about winning?”  
            “Maybe, but like, the other stuff too? Maybe they’re not right about a lot of things.”

            "Well, I..." she trailed off and he realized that maybe this wasn't a topic they should be discussing. These were things he kept to himself, that were entertained only in his brain. Not out loud, and most certainly not with someone so impressionable. She was still young, what if something he said stopped her from becoming that person in his dream? "I've always wondered about their views on attachment, to be honest." She said suddenly, and he looked at her in surprise. "I shouldn't say that, it's not my place to question their teachings." She intertwined her fingers and stared at her lap. 

            "Hey," he reached out to nudge her a little. "It's okay, anything you say will stay between us."

            "It's just that I get so confused sometimes," she swallowed hard. "I understand how we're supposed to act from clarity and calm, why we're supposed to be unbiased and fair. But... it just seems so cold. We're supposed to care about people, yet we can't act on it or care too much. We're a community, but we're not supposed to form friendships or relationships. We're supposed to watch out for each other while simultaneously not putting each other above others. It doesn't make any sense to me."  
            "When I was a boy, my mother was the most loving person around. Everyone knew that if they needed something they could come to her. We didn't have much, but she still helped others however she could. I never minded missing meals because I believed we were doing good,  _real_  good. The kind of good that makes a difference in the galaxy. She was selfless like Jedi claim to be, but her generosity always came from a place of love. It was her love for those around her that made her selfless. Then master Qui gon came along and he offered to train me as a Jedi. And I went, because I thought that as a Jedi I could reach even more people and help them, just like my mother. But then I got here, and they told me not to care, not to love, not to get attached. To be selfless but not from a place of love but rather one of duty. I want to be like my mother. I want to love too much, I want to be generous and helpful. I want to be selfless not because I have to be, but because I should be. I think loving those around you is what makes you a good person. Not just coming to their rescue or breaking up fights. We have the power to do so much good in the galaxy but instead, all we do is sit around and meditate and keep to ourselves. What good does that do anyone?" he sighed. 

            Ahsoka didn't say anything for a long time and he started wondering if maybe he'd said too much or worse, confused her further. "I want to be like your mother too," she whispered finally. "I don't think the Jedi will make me a leader people can count on." 

            He wasn't sure what to say, he was surprised at how easily she'd accepted ideas he'd never dared to utter aloud before. No wonder she becomes someone so amazing, she doesn't just blindly follow the Jedi way of life. He put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer. She'd tensed a bit at the touch but relaxed after a moment. She leaned against him and he felt so much fear he'd bottled up inside melting away. She was just a kid right now, but she understood. He wasn't alone anymore.

            "Can I meet your mother?" she asked nervously. 

            "I'd love for you to meet her. I miss her like crazy, but Obi wan won't let me go back to Tatooine to see her. No attachments, remember?" He felt tears well up in his eyes. He should be too old now to need his mother, but he did. He needed her, and he hated how much he was willing to throw away just to see her again. 

            "We could borrow a ship..." He sat up and looked at her in confusion. She shifted nervously under his gaze but did not say anything to contradict her idea. Here was a girl that an hour or so ago had been terrified of getting caught and getting into trouble, now suggesting they do something that will most certainly get them into trouble. 

            "Do you know how much trouble we'd get into?" he muttered. 

            "Don't you want to see your mom again?" He looked at her again, her vivid blue eyes deepened in front of him. Here she was, the woman from his dreams.  _No matter what happens, never forget that I love you. I will always love you._ _  
_             It was crazy, it was absolute insanity. He was going out of his mind, but... "Let's go." Her face lit up in the biggest smile, the spark of mischief back in her eyes.  Whatever the nature of their relationship in the future, however it played out; he knew right then and there, that he was going to love this girl to the end of the world.  _No matter what happens..._


	2. Chapter 2

            “Write your name here, along with destination and when you’ll be returning it,” the hanger guard said with a yawn.

            Anakin leaned forward and wrote his name but hesitated on the destination. The guard could care less where he was going, but he didn’t want a record of him going to Tatooine. He wrote Chancellor’s office and then a week out for the return date. Anybody with a brain would figure out he wasn’t going to see the Chancellor for a week. In fact, he had no plans to see him at all after what Ahsoka had told him in his dreams. He also didn’t write her name on here. They’d decided on the way back to split up, so it didn’t look like they were leaving together. He was probably being overly paranoid, but he had a hunch the moment anyone from the council saw them together they’d know why he was suddenly so interested in her. And likely, they’d think he was crazy. _Maybe he was…_

            It had taken awhile for him to be certain Ahsoka was the person he’d seen in his dreams, but then when he’d seen her eyes up there on the roof… the way they’d lit up, the way she’d looked at him. How she’d just known how badly he needed to see his mom, but more than that… how willing she was to get into trouble to help him see her again. If that wasn’t love, he didn’t know what was. From everything he’d gathered, she was miss perfect; follow the rules no matter what. She wanted to do everything right, she wanted to do it well and she wanted to go far. So for her to risk those dreams to help him… especially to help him do something so contrary to the Jedi ideals that she ambitiously tried to uphold… she was definitely the one. 

            He appreciated that about her. Even though what they were about to do was going to get them into trouble, it felt right to be going. If only explaining that to the council actually worked. He moved past the guard and headed not for an open model ship, which would be appropriate for a trip across Coruscant, but straight towards an old freighter that looked like a piece of junk. He wanted a fast ship, but that would be too obvious. He could probably do something to make this one move faster while in flight, plus, it was the least likely to be missed. He glanced around hoping Ahsoka wasn’t far behind and boarded the ship. 

            He fought with the starter for a few minutes trying to get it to lift off. She bounded up the ramp a few minutes later and collapsed into the copilot seat. “What happened to you?” he asked as he piloted the ship out of the hanger.

            “I ran into Master Kenobi.” She looked at him, her eyes wide.

            He froze. “And…?”

            “I didn’t tell him anything, obviously, but he asked me a million questions about why I was wandering the halls at this hour.”

            “What did you tell him?” He swallowed and stared at his wrist comm, half expecting it to beep.

            “I told him I had trouble sleeping so I was walking the halls to tire myself out and not disturb the others.” She waved her hands in front of her. “So then he went on about fifty different types of tea for every possible situation I could be experiencing and that I should try them.” She shook her head. “If I couldn’t sleep before, that talk alone would have put me to sleep. But I didn’t want to be rude!”

            He relaxed his muscles and chuckled. “He can be long winded sometimes.”

            “I don’t think he suspected anything… although…”

            He jumped the ship into hyperspace when the nav computer beeped. “What?”

            “He was looking at me kind of funny. Maybe it was nothing…” She dropped her chin.

            “Funny how?” He turned to look her up and down. 

            “I’m not sure how to explain it, it was like he was trying to process something that had to do with me. He’s never paid any attention to me before, so maybe I was reading too much into it.”

            He turned back to stare out the viewport in front of them. Did his master suspect Ahsoka could be the person he’d described to the council? What if he found his sketchbook? What would he say if he _did_ put two and two together? Maybe he _was_ crazy for thinking that his dream was real and that it meant something. 

            It felt like more than a dream, and Ahsoka definitely could be the person he'd dreamt about. After all, the dream girl had said that he'd meet her soon enough. Had she meant that he'd meet her the next day or some other time? Had he forced a relationship where there shouldn't have been one? What if he'd been so eager to find her that he missed the real one, trying to get to know someone else? Other Togruta could have the same skin color or head tail combinations. And what about her markings, do they change as they age? And the montral stripes? Hers were clean lines right now...

            "I need to go meditate for awhile, you know how to fly right?" He turned to find her studying him.

            She nodded, and he felt her stare after him. He wished he could ask her if she was the one he'd dreamt about, but how could she know? 

            He swallowed hard, crossing his legs and trying to escape into the force. He would give anything for her to appear to him again. He sighed after awhile. No matter how hard he tried, she didn't reappear. Was it possible for him to imagine something like that?

            He gave up trying to meditate and scoured the ship looking for something he could draw with or on. It felt like she was slipping away, and he didn't want to lose her. But how could he lose her when he didn't even know how he had her to begin with?  _Why couldn't you have just told me who you were?_

            He finally found a datapad that worked and a stylus, that would have to do for now. He sat in a corner and doodled away, trying desperately to draw what he remembered from the dream, but it just kept looking like the teenager he was with. Frustrated, he threw it down and nearly leapt back into the wall. "You're going to give me a heart attack!" he exclaimed. 

            "What are you drawing?" She tipped her head to the side.

            "Nothing." He tried to shove it under his robe, but it flew into her hands. "Hey! Give that back!" He shot to his feet. 

            She stared at it a moment and then handed it back to him. She didn't say anything, and as the silence dragged on, he got more and more nervous. "Master Kenobi called," she murmured finally. "I think you should listen to his message." She brushed past him and headed down the hallway away from the cockpit. 

            Oh great. He didn't want to explain to either of them his obsession with this dream, but her reaction to the drawing concerned him. He took a deep breath and headed to the front of the ship, plopping down in the pilot seat and flipping the switch to hear the recorded message.

            "I'm not even going to ask where you went or why you took a youngling with you, because I can guess. However, I'm disappointed that you abandoned your duties. We were called to protect Senator Amidala and discover who made an attempt on her life. She's on her way back to Naboo, though unwillingly. I would have sent you with her. Now however, we have more pressing matters. I'm on a mission of my own and may be out of contact for a few days, so I will tell you, do not risk that girl's life on foolish endeavors, do you hear me? We will figure out an appropriate punishment when you both return." Obi wan's voice faded and Anakin stared blankly straight ahead. How did he keep getting into these messes? 

            If he hadn't of been so consumed by this dream, he could have been on Naboo with Padmé right now; the woman he'd been dreaming about for years. He felt so stupid! One random vision of another girl and he's off doing crazy things with a youngling hoping for what exactly? That she's going to turn into someone from his imagination and they'd be together forever? He really wanted to throw something. 

            He stormed past her and didn't say a word, curling into a ball in one of the sleeping pods after carefully closing the curtain. 

            He awoke a few hours later still frustrated by the turn of events. He tried to imagine what Padmé would look like now to calm his nerves. It had been ten years since he’d seen her, she could only be more beautiful than she was before. As he got lost in his fantasy, it took him awhile to realize that the ship wasn’t moving. There was no way they’d made it to Tatooine already. He checked his chronometer. He’d only been asleep for four hours, there was at minimum another twelve hours of travel time to go. Likely another day’s worth if he didn’t upgrade the engine.

            He yanked back the curtain in annoyance. She’d said she could fly so what was she doing? “Ahsoka?” he called a few times around the ship wondering where she was. “Ahsoka!”

            “I’m right here, you don’t have to shout!” came a small voice from somewhere in the back of the ship.

            “Well, why weren’t you answering?” he headed towards her.

            “Because _I_ didn’t want to shout.” She poked her head out from the maintenance hatch in the aft of the freighter.

            “What’s going on? Why aren’t we moving?” He looked around. There were tools spread across the floor, she had goggles snapped to her skin over her eyes and grease all over her.

            “The hyperdrive overheated, so I had to pull us out and flush the system a few times. Now I’m trying to figure out why the coolant isn’t getting to it.” She disappeared back into the shaft and he stared in after her. “I think there’s a kink in the hosing, but I don’t know where. I did find a leak I patched up, but now there’s a puddle of scalding liquid back here. I couldn’t find the proper equipment to clean it up. Considering the age and wear on this junk heap, there’s probably more problems I haven’t discovered yet.”

            “Why didn’t you wake me up?” he muttered, shrugging off his robe and climbing in after her.

            “I had it under control for now and you needed the sleep.” She stopped crawling, sat back on her heels and tried to maneuver in the small space so she could look back at him.

            “You probably need some rest too, I can take over.”

            “I’m not tired,” she said stubbornly and crossed her arms in front of her.

            “Suit yourself.” He shook his head and started inspecting the coolant line. He was pleasantly surprised to find her patch job was such high quality, but then he remembered she was top of her class, so… _perfectionist_. He glanced over and saw her watching him as though daring him to critique her work. He shrugged it off, not wanting to admit she did a good job. “Where are we?”

            “According to the nav computer, a few hours from Naboo,” she replied. He tensed, realizing that she’d heard Obi wan’s message too. “If you help me get the hyperdrive fixed I can drop you off there and head back to Coruscant. It might make up for some of the trouble we’re going to get into if your master knows you went to protect the senator. Besides, she probably has a much nicer ship than this.” He glanced her way and saw that she was absentmindedly tinkering with something in front of her. Could she tell he would rather be there with Padmé? Did she know why? He softened a little, feeling guilty. She may have suggested this little jaunt, but he went along with it and now they were both going to get in trouble either way. If she goes back to Coruscant now, she’ll take the brunt of it. If he goes to Naboo to protect the senator, he’ll get off easy. By the sound of it, she knew that.

            He wanted to see his mother, but she was right. It was his duty to obey his master, he just hated that he had to choose between two people he loved. In some ways, it felt like he was choosing between three. And by the sound of Obi wan’s message, he’d already figured out he believes Ahsoka is the girl from his dream, so what will happen when he gets back? They’ll make sure he never gets to see her again. No attachments… _No matter what happens…_

            “Then let’s get to work,” he said finally. Her shoulders fell just a smidge, but it was what it was.

            After about an hour's work, they finally found the root of the problem. They didn't talk much as they worked on fixing it, but at one point she had to crawl over him to get out, so she could fetch tools for him. He was surprised to realize her touch was a little electric, like it had been in the dream, but he was doing his best to ignore it. Every time it popped in his head, he'd turn his focus back to getting to see Padmé soon. 

            "Hey," he called out to her after screwing the final bolt into place. "Go reset the nav computer and try to jump again. I'll wait here to see if there's more problems."

            "Okay," she said softly and disappeared. He laid his head back on the ground and sighed. They'd been working together in a comfortable silence. He'd never had anyone do that before. Most Jedi shirked the idea of working on machines, but he found it soothing. He doubted Ahsoka felt the same way, but she seemed to understand and didn't talk the entire time.

            He lifted his head when he felt the ship pitch up and lurch forward, studying the coolant lines. They'd patched four different leaks and as far as he could tell as he shimmied down the shaft, all the patch jobs were holding. He closed his eyes and listened with the force for anything that sounded or felt off, but as far as he could tell, it was working properly this time. He wiped his brow and started trying to inch his way out, since it was hot in there. 

            He cleaned up all the tools and stopped at the refresher to wash up. Then he joined Ahsoka on the bridge. She was sitting with her legs up and her arms around her knees staring blankly out the viewport. "Seems to be working just fine now. The patch jobs are holding. We should be able to make it to Naboo and it'll still hold together for your trip back to Coruscant." He slumped down in the other seat. 

            "That's good," she murmured. 

            "You did a good job back there, I'm impressed," he said after awhile to break the silence.

            "Thank you." She didn't say anything else and he sighed and leaned back in the chair. He didn't want to hurt her, but he was starting to feel like he never should have gotten involved with her. Like even if she was the woman from his dreams, he should have let it happen as it was supposed to rather than force the issue. Because now, despite the dream, his heart was pulling him towards Padmé and he felt like he was going to let her down. "What's your mother's name," she asked after a long time.

            "Why?"

            "I'm just curious." 

            "You're not still thinking about going to Tatooine are you?" He watched the side of her face.

            "Of course not. I'm in enough trouble already. I just want to know her name." She didn't look up, in fact, there was hardly any expression on her face at all. 

            "Shmi," he said finally. 

            "Shmi," she repeated. "That's a pretty name." The silence fell again. "I think I'm going to take a nap after all." He watched her leave the cockpit hating that one minute they'd been having so much fun and could talk so easily and now... everything had gotten awkward. It had started when she'd seen the picture he'd drawn on the datapad. He was dying to know her thoughts on it. Yet at the same time, he really didn't want to know. He got up and headed back to where he'd left it. He grabbed it and sat down at the galley table looking it over. 

            Maybe the reason it kept looking like her now was because he saw them as synonymous. Like he'd projected this Ahsoka on her. Which was the exact opposite of what he'd been doing to this kid since he had the dream. He clicked the delete key and hunched over it with a sigh. How was it possible to see someone in a dream, be so completely captivated by them or what they said, and have it completely turn your life upside down?


	3. Chapter 3

            Ahsoka didn't reappear until they landed on Naboo. "Good luck protecting the senator," she whispered, waving after him.

            "Good luck with the council," he tried to smirk but felt guilty and looked away. He watched the ship take off, a sinking feeling in his chest. This was where he wanted to be, right? So why'd it feel like his future left with her? She was just a youngling! This was insanity. He needed to pull himself together. He'd been dreaming about Padmé for ten years, he was not going to screw this up because of one stupid dream or vision or whatever! 

            He turned his attention to the guard that had met him on the landing platform. "I'm here to protect Senator Amidala, the Jedi council sent me," he said trying to sound as official as possible. 

            "Name?"

            "Anakin Skywalker."

            The guard tapped a button on his wrist comm. "my lady, there is an Anakin Skywalker here. He says the Jedi council sent him to be your bodyguard."

            "Ani?" came a voice through the comm that was sweeter than music. He was melting already. "Little Ani?" 

            "I'm not so little anymore, my lady," he leaned over the guard's arm, unable to hide his grin. Oh she probably looked magnificent. A spectacular gown with a lavish hairdo, and she probably smelled just as luxurious. 

            "Let him in, Captain," she said.

            He bowed to the guard and followed him to the entrance of a grand villa by the lakeside. "My goodness how you've grown!" she exclaimed, as she opened the door. 

            He stared at her in a stunned silence. She was so beautiful it took his breath away. "You look more beautiful than I remember," his voice cracked a little in embarrassment. "Just like you look in my dreams." She looked startled for a moment, but then plastered the smile back on her lush red lips. 

            "Well, come in. As you can see, I'm a caged animal here. No one will let me leave." She threw up her hands in frustration and it was all he could do not to stare.

            "They just want to keep you safe, m'lady."

            "I can take care of myself! I shouldn't need to run and hide. When I do that, they win. I have important matters to attend to and this is making it impossible."

            He'd nearly forgotten just how much spunk Padmé had. She never shied away from anything and he admired that. But he also feared that spark would get her killed. It almost had, according to Obi wan.

            "I just hate sitting around, hiding like a coward!" She paced back and forth in front of him.

            "There is nothing cowardly about considering your own safety, m'lady."

            "But what about the safety of my people? I can't help them if I'm hiding!" Padmé went on about this for a long time. It took every trick he could think of to calm her down. He appreciated her desire to protect her people, even enough to put herself at risk, but as their conversation had stretched on, he found it harder and harder to swallow the idea of her in danger. He knew she was by no means delicate, he'd witnessed her prowess first hand as a boy. Perhaps as his feelings about her had changed, so did his need to protect her and keep her safe.

            He stared at the intricate ceiling details of the room she'd assigned to him after they'd said goodnight. This room was a huge improvement over the cramped sleeping pod on that junker freighter. He felt a pang of guilt that Ahsoka had probably made it back to Coruscant by now and had likely already faced the council. Hopefully they wouldn’t be too hard on her.

            He tried to relax his muscles, so he could sleep. He didn’t exactly want to imagine Padmé in the next room sleeping, but at the same time, he kind of did. His cheeks got warm as he tried to picture the elegant nightclothes she was undoubtably wearing. He’d really hoped that things would heat up between them right away, but besides her rant about having to hide or be protected, she seemed to hardly notice how much he’d grown. Surely these feelings he’d been nursing for years couldn’t be one-sided… He drifted off thinking about her like he usually did.

            There she was again, the Togruta he’d seen before. “I was starting to think I imagined you,” he breathed when she stopped in front of him. “What did you hope to change by telling me about the Chancellor?”

            “Nothing,” she murmured. Her eyes were as deep and vivid as they had been before, but sad. Also sad. The way she looked at him sent shivers through him as though she could see right into his soul. Whatever she saw there though, she loved. There was no judgement in her gaze, only pain, longing and love.

            “What about the other part? You must have hoped to change something by telling me that you love me.”

            “No.” She brought her hand up to touch his face again. “When I saw you again, I realized that I never told you that before. That I had a million chances to and I never did.” She sighed, “The world I live in is very different than yours. It’s a horrible place full of war and death. Right now, the darkness is winning. If the world is going to end, I don’t want it to end without you knowing that I love you.”

            “No matter what happens…” he trailed off. “You weren’t talking about my now, you were talking about yours.” He looked up at her and she nodded.

            “I don’t know if it’s possible to change anything, but that was not my goal. I only told you about the chancellor with the hope that you could look ahead with your eyes wide open.” He watched a tear form in the corner of her eye.

            “Tell me who you are,” he reached for her. “Please.”

            “You already know me, Anakin. You’ve always known me, better than I knew myself.” He took her hand.

            “Please,” he whispered again.

            She studied him for a moment. “My name is Ahsoka Tano, and I was your padawan.” She looked down at her feet. “You taught me how to survive, how to protect others, but more than anything… you taught me how to love and I don’t think I ever thanked you enough. Everything I am, is because of you.”

            It was his turn to reach for her face, the tear fell the moment he touched it. “There’s no way I am the only reason you are this amazing. I found your younger self, though I admit I wasn’t sure at first she was you. But, I can already see this you in her and that had nothing to do with me.”

            “You were my hero long before I became your padawan.” He admired the way her long lashes brushed her cheeks. “You think that no one cared, that no one really saw you. You held the world at arm’s length, believing that there was no one out there that could possibly understand. You held in all your pain, hiding it behind smirks and determined eyes.” She leaned her forehead against his. “But there was no one I loved more. No one I would have done more for. If only you’d let me in.”

            She was gone before he had a chance to respond and he sat up in bed, staring at the lavish surroundings of Padmé’s lake house. This was the kind of life he’d always dreamt about, but… would Padmé ever love him like Ahsoka?

            He flipped open his holocommunicator and dialed hers. “Kind of busy right now, Skyguy,” she said, and he started at the sound of a rifle behind her.

            “Skyguy? Wait, where are you?” he shot out of bed and paced the room.

            “Can I explain later? I’m trying to outrun Sand People.” The comm went static for a moment.

            “Ahsoka? Why did you go to Tatooine? You were supposed to go to Coruscant!”

            “I was following my instincts,” she said distractedly. “Isn’t that what Jedi are supposed to do?”

            “I do not approve of these Jedi teaching children how to fight,” came another voice and he nearly fell to his knees in a puddle of tears.

            “Don’t worry, miss Sky- er, Shmi,” Ahsoka said. “I was trained for this.”

            “I never doubted that. It’s not your skills that concern me, it’s the danger they put you in.”

            “Ma?”

            “Hello, my little Ani. It is good for my heart to hear your voice. Your friend here is very brave.” He did start crying this time.

            “I’m on my way,” he choked.

            “I’ve got it under control,” Ahsoka sounded far away. “Don’t worry about us!”

            “Where are you going?” Shmi shouted after her.

            “To distract them, climb that ridge over there and take the speeder home. I’ll catch up!” Ahsoka’s voice was so soft this time, he’d barely heard it.

            “Now listen here…” but the way his mother trailed off, he could only assume Ahsoka was out of earshot of her now. “I hope you’re close, son, because her skills are impressive, but I have no idea how she’s going to escape an entire tribe of Tuskens chasing her. Her distraction, however, appears to be working, none of them are paying attention to me anymore.” Shmi was breathing raggedly as she seemed to be climbing the ridge.

            “I’ll be there in a couple hours, please be careful!”

            “I’ll be waiting, my love.” He clicked off the holocommunicator and took a deep breath trying to settle his nerves. Why were they outrunning sand people? Why were they even in danger? What had happened? He stared angrily at the door, and if he hadn’t of wanted to see Padmé so badly, he’d have been there too. This was exactly what he was afraid of, having to choose between loves. According to the Jedi, he shouldn’t love anyone, but that was impossible now.


	4. Chapter 4

           He was speeding towards the Tusken camp his mom had directed him to, trying to swallow the fear rising in his throat. This was all his fault that Ahsoka was in danger. He never should have let her come, he never should have even told her about his mom. He'd barely had a chance to greet her and be grateful she was alive before she'd reported that Ahsoka still hadn't returned. He'd left Padmé with them, believing he'd be faster alone. Plus, he didn't need someone else in danger too. She'd refused to stay behind on Naboo when he'd asked to borrow her ship, believing that he'd still be performing his bodyguard duties along with his rescue mission here. Though he suspected the real reason was because she didn't want to sit alone bored. 

           He rounded a bend and caught sight of a lone figure moving slowly across the dunes. His heart leapt in his chest as he turned towards them. "Ahsoka!" He barely stopped the speeder completely before leaping off the bike and running the rest of the way towards her. She was a little banged up but no gaping wounds. His hands closed on her shoulders and she smiled tiredly at him.

           "I told you I had it under control, Skyguy!" she smirked. He wanted to say something snappy in response, but he was just so grateful she was alive. He pulled her into a hug. She froze at first, but then wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him back. "What was that for?" she asked timidly, the blue stripes brightened again.

           "I'm glad you're okay," he murmured remembering the conversation with her future self from the night before. _There was no one I loved more... if only you'd let me in..._

           "Why wouldn't I be?" she watched him curiously with her big blue eyes.

           "It's a long story," he smiled. 

           She glanced around them, there was nothing to see for miles. "I think we've got plenty of time."

           He laughed, "I'm sure we do, and I'll tell you someday. Come on, let's get back." She nodded after yawning and followed him back to the speeder. She climbed on behind him and hugged him tightly, leaning her head against his back. He liked the way she felt there, like she belonged right there next to him. According to her future self, she'd been his padawan. He'd never wanted one, so he wondered how that had come about. 

           He started the speeder and turned it back towards the Lars farm. There was something nagging at him in the back of his brain. Her future self that appeared to him didn't look that old. Maybe in her thirties, so what all had happened in twenty years that would make her believe the world might be coming to an end? Why hadn't the Jedi stopped it? Or worse, what could be that terrible that could destroy everything in such a short amount of time? Was it imminent?

           He realized when they got close to the farm, she'd fallen asleep behind him. He wondered if he could get off the bike and carry her inside without waking her. He stopped near the door and used the force to hold her up while he extricated himself from her arms. She stirred a little as he scooped her up and headed inside. "Is she okay?" His mom met him first.

           "Yeah, she'll be fine. She's just exhausted," he whispered. 

           "After what she did, I'm not surprised. Poor thing," Shmi set her hand on Ahsoka's cheek and brushed away the grime caked on her skin. "Thank goodness she's alright. Let's get a bed made up for her."

           "It's okay, I'll just hold her for now," Anakin replied, sitting down on a nearby bench and wrapping his arms around her so she was curled against his chest. 

           Shmi smiled at him, "It's good to see you, my little Ani," she breathed and kissed him on the forehead over Ahsoka's head. "If it hadn't been for your little friend here, I'm afraid things might have gone very differently." 

           He leaned his cheek against Ahsoka's montral and studied his mom. She was still the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. "What happened? How did you even end up in danger?"

           "I was out picking mushrooms on the ridge this morning and the next thing I knew something grabbed me and knocked me out. Woke up tied to some kind of wooden stock inside one of their tents. I don't know what they wanted with me," she sighed sitting down on the bench at the table. 

           "I wish I could make them pay," he growled and Ahsoka stirred in his arms.

           "Now Ani, you know that's just their way. "Violence breeds violence. If you attack them, they'll see it as a challenge and start attacking settlements and farms out here in the valley." She set her hands on her lap. "And that's the last thing we need. I'm fine, we're here, we're all alive. Let's celebrate that. Besides, I raised you better than that. I don't care how much fighting the Jedi taught you, if violence is the answer, you're asking the wrong question."

           He watched her while she talked, trying to memorize every feature so he'd never forget what she looked like. He'd missed her so much. "I'm sorry I never came back to free you, Ma," he looked down ashamed. "I failed you."

           "You didn't, my son. I found a great husband who takes really good care of me, we have a child and a farm and a good life. If you'd freed me, I wouldn't have any of that. Everything happens for a reason."

           "I've missed you so much, mom!" Tears welled in his eyes.

           "I've missed you too, my love!" She got up and kissed him on the forehead again, taking his face in her hands. "Now I don't want you worrying about me, you hear?"

           "Ani! You're back!" Padmé rushed into the room followed by the girl that had been introduced to him as Beru, and his half-brother Owen. "Is she alright?"

           "Yes, just tired," he replied. 

           "What is she?" Owen asked.

           "Now, Owen, you know that's rude. You don't just ask people what they are," Shmi scolded and Anakin tried to hide the smile as he remembered what it was like to be on the receiving end of that. He wasn't sure he liked the fact that his mom had gotten married and had another kid, but he wanted to be happy for her. He just wasn't convinced that she'd be safe here. Not after what had happened here today. 

           Padmé sat down next to him while the rest argued amongst themselves and set her hand on his arm. He stared straight ahead thinking how strange this all was. In his lap was a kid that he'd already become too attached to because he'd had two dreams about her future self. Next to him was the girl he'd always hoped to have. In front of him was his mom and apparently, his family. And none of this was what the Jedi thought he should have. But... he looked around, he wanted all of it. He swallowed hard and watched his mom bustle about as she started preparing dinner. Owen's girlfriend, Beru, was helping her and after a moment, Padmé got up to help set the table. _Attachments are forbidden for Jedi._ Well... maybe he didn't want to be a Jedi anymore...


	5. Chapter 5

            "Look at that, I found you this time." He walked casually towards the older version of Ahsoka and looked around. He'd never paid much attention to anything around them whenever she appeared to him before.

            "Who are you?" she turned to look at him in surprise. He stopped walking and stared at her. She didn't quite look the same as he'd seen her before. She was wearing a different outfit. Instead of lightsabers, there were blasters holstered to her hips. She had deep lines along her face, and bags under her eyes. Scratches and cuts all over her skin with the tip of one of her lekku stubbed as though it had been burned off. But more than all of that, she didn't radiate the light she had before; there was no quiet confidence and soft adoring smile.  
            "What do you mean, who am I? We just talked yesterday." He narrowed his eyes in confusion.

            "That's not possible," she murmured glancing around nervously. "You look like a Jedi, but you can't be. They're gone. So tell me who you are." She pulled out one of her blasters and pointed it at his head.  
            He put his hands up in surprise. "It's me, Anakin."  
            She chewed on his name for a moment before her eyes widened. "Ani? This can't be real."  
            "Of course it's real."

            She shook her head. "No. I haven't seen you in what... over twenty years?" She put her blaster away.   
            "I told you, we just talked yesterday."  
            "Not possible." She scowled at him. He didn't like the look on her face. What had happened to the tender Ahsoka he'd met before? "Last I saw you, you decided to stay on Tatooine with your mother. Padmé and I went to Geonosis to help master Kenobi and you never came back." She rubbed her toe in the dirt and scoffed, "Some Chosen One you turned out to be. You abandoned us. When the war started, the council reached out to you, but from what I heard, you ignored them."  
            "That's impossible, I would never leave the order," he said indignantly, though he was tempted to add _even if I wanted to..._  
            "Well you did. The Jedi were all wiped out, nothing left but us stragglers that refuse to die." She crossed her arms and glared at him. He shivered. He didn't like this Ahsoka, she was so cold.  
            "But you were my padawan..."  
            "How could I be your padawan when you turned your back on all of us? No, when I got back to Coruscant, Obi wan took me under his wing and trained me. He never said it, but he was really disappointed in you. We all were. You let us down when we needed you the most."

            "This can't be happening. This is all wrong, I don't like it." He brought his hands to his head and tried to shake the horrible words that had clung to his blood and pumped poison through his veins.  
            "Well, sometimes we have to live with things we don't like."  
            "Yesterday you told me you loved me..."  
            She let out a cruel laugh, "Love? The Jedi don't allow love. I don't even know what that word means."

            "No this is wrong, I have to fix this!" He grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her.

            "Let me go!"

            He sat up in a panic, "Ahsoka!" His heart was racing as the simple sand colored stone swam into view.

            "What is it, Skyguy?" she murmured sleepily from the other side of the room. He turned to look in the direction of her voice and watched her prop herself up on her elbows and stare at him, her eyes heavy lidded. 

            "You're still here," he whispered trying to take a deep breath. 

            "Why wouldn't I be? Did you have a nightmare?" She pulled herself up and stumbled tiredly across the room towards him.

            "Yeah, it was horrible." He dropped his face into his hands. He felt the bed move next to him as she sat down.

            "Do you want to talk about it?"

            "Not really," he said. He hoped someday he could forget her accusatory stare and her stinging words. He had to make sure that never happened. Maybe he didn't want to be a Jedi anymore, but he couldn't abandon them. "I dreamt that I left the order and everything fell apart," he whispered nervously.

            "Is this about what you and your mom were talking about earlier?"

            He thought about the conversation he'd had with his mother, about the way the Jedi believed him to be some chosen one. He didn't want to be that, and he certainly didn't know what being that meant. Then Ahsoka had come in and told him that maybe he wasn't supposed to be anything else. That they already believed him to be some chosen one because of who he already was. And that just maybe, being the chosen one meant he wasn't supposed to be like the others. He'd appreciated her words, but it hadn't done enough to convince him he was the one that would turn the tides. 

            "Yeah maybe," he sighed finally. "I probably just worked myself into a frenzy. Go back to sleep, it was nothing."

            She didn't move. "I think..." she started, reaching out nervously to touch his hand, which he opened for her to take. "I think you put too much pressure on yourself." He stared at her small hand in his, understanding how significant this moment was. Every time he'd tried to touch her before, she'd freeze up or tense. She seemed to like the touch after a moment, but it was like it always took her by surprise. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable by touching her, but sometimes he couldn't help it. Sometimes it was easy to fall back into the way he'd been raised and forget that the people around him didn't know how to respond to that. 

            As it was, he'd probably come on way to strong, forgetting that she wasn't aware of the future her he kept seeing in his dreams. The one that already loved him, the one that had a history with him. The young one in front of him was new, they'd only known each other for a week. He needed to slow down. But there was so much this one said tonight that he couldn't shake from his brain. He'd let everyone down. He'd failed them. Because of him, they were all dead. Maybe it was crazy to think that one person could change that much, but clearly... it had... unless this one was just a nightmare. _How do you tell the difference?_

            His shoulders dropped, and her hand tightened on his. "How can I not? They wouldn't call me the chosen one if I wasn't supposed to do something big and important."

            "Perhaps," she whispered. "But if you are the chosen one, then the force already believes you have what it takes to fulfill your destiny."

            "What if I make the wrong decision?" His voice cracked, and he hated the vulnerability he was showing now.

            She was quiet for a moment. What could she say? She was just a youngling! She was probably the last person that could give him helpful advice. "Maybe there are no wrong decisions," she breathed thoughtfully. "Maybe there are just decisions, and it's our perception of them that makes them right or wrong. If the force has a plan for you, or me or anyone really, I think it will happen no matter what. All that will change is how we get there." She leaned her head down on his shoulder. "But if there is such a thing as right or wrong decisions, I think the more you fear making the wrong one, the more likely you are to make it. So it's a test of faith in a way, you have to learn to trust yourself. All anyone can do is the best they can in every moment and trust that there are some things out of their control. Even if we don't understand why it has to be that way."

            "Ahsoka?" He started and then panicked when she looked up with her big blue eyes that reflected the low light in the small room. "Do you believe in love?" The words caught in his throat and came out barely a squeak. 

            "I don't know," she replied glancing away. "I don't know what love means. The masters say it's dangerous."

            He wanted to correct her. He wanted to tell her all about love and what he believed it to mean. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, even though it would sound crazy. But then he remembered how the future her he'd just met had laughed in his face when he'd asked her if she loved him. 

            "But..." she interrupted his thoughts. "I think the only thing that makes it dangerous, is what you do with it, or _for_ it. If it's possible to love with both eyes open, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I want to believe in that kind of love."

            He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to imagine a love like that. All the love he'd ever experienced made him irrational and moody. But maybe it wasn't the love that made him that way, maybe it was the fear of being reprimanded for it or rejected because of it. Ahsoka's words from the other night floated back into his head. _There was no one I loved more, no one I would have done more for..._ the kind of love she spoke of must be good, because if she felt it that strongly but stayed firmly rooted in the light and balance; tall, strong and confident... then maybe love with your eyes open was possible. She'd also told him that he had taught her how to love, but he highly doubted that. If anything... it was the other way around. 

            "Love with your eyes open," he repeated thoughtfully, mulling over the idea. "What do you suppose that entails?"

            "I'm not sure, but it felt like that was the kind of love you described when you talked about your mother on the temple roof." 


End file.
